I’m going blind,Nikki. If I can’t see them coming I’m not gonna fight anymore.
The fear, confusion and pain after hearing my father speak these words to me, stopped the hands of time as I kept asking myself, why are you alone? Why do you feel this way? Why don’t you want to live anymore?
Why are you so sick in the first place? Your the healthiest man I have ever known.
Dad always made sure he told me what I needed to prepare myself for, so this conversation is going to be very important.
Diabetes has a long history of causing heart problems accompanied by blindness.
Now I must prepare for life without him.
What my father never accepted was that God forged our bond.
My parents could never accept that apart of raising me to be responsible also meant trusting themselves to know that they did good. They did real good.
We raise our children to participate in marathons but treat them as if life is a sprint when we have adult problems in the household. A marathoner needs patience and time while a sprinter has to have what they want right now.
This marathon that I am running has allowed for me to never dwell on difficult goodbyes, just as losing my father has never been acknowledged as goodbye.
Since losing my father my agenda has never changed.
I’m gonna continue to honor our family. To show you I love you and mommy too.Shesparklesnflow
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